The Final Straw: Brad and Jen

Unless you live under a porn store (which, btw, was directed by the creator of WKRP in Cincinatti!!!!), you know that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have broken up.  Rumor has it that Brad wanted to have a child and that Jen wanted to continue her career.  Wawasworld sources have confirmed this story to be TRUE.  In fact, we have footage of that fateful, final night in the fabulous 14.5 MILLION Dollar home that they used to share (why did I put MILLION in capitals?  Austin Powers jokes are so '99).  Let's take a look:

(Brad's posing in the mirror)

Brad: Honey, honey . . . come quick . . . I just moved my left pectoral up and down!  I've been working on that stunt for weeks!

(Jen in bed reading US weekly)

Jen: That's nice, honey.  Shit . . . I didn't make the cover this week!  Stupid Lohan bitch. That's 4 freaking weeks in a row!!!!

Brad: You know what would get you back on the cover?  If you made those pregnancy rumors true. . .

Jen: BRAD!  We talked about this . .  . I need to rebound from Along Came Polly first, then kids . . .

Brad (Still posing): Listen, sweetheart, these guns aren't getting any younger (kisses arms).  Baby, I got a biological clock . . . .and it's ticking.  Tick, tick, tick, tick . . . boom, boom, dynamite . . . boom, boom, DYNAMITE! (kisses arms again)

Jen: Kids, this, Kids that.  I gotta career.  Leprachaun 1 can't be my finest movie  moment ever!!!

Brad: Oh yeah!  Check out those abs! (Punches himself in the stomach) ROCK HARD!  You wanna punch me in the stomach Jen?  You wanna take a turn testing out this stomach?  Huh?

Jen: We were talking about kids

Brad: Oh, right.  You see Angelina?  You see how happy she is with baby Maddox?  It's oh so cute . . . JUST LIKE MY BACK!  (Turns around to check out his back)

Jen: That's it.  I knew you had something for Angelina!!!  The rumors are true!!!!  I'm done with you, you narcissitic bastard . .  .

Brad: That's cool . .  . You'll be back on the cover of US this week, no problem.  Now, where was I?  (poses again in front of mirror)