TV Hot and Beverly Hills 90210

Wawasworld's clear overexposure to television has clearly fogged his vision of regular women in the world.   This is the reason I watch so much television: There are truly no ugly people on television.  Even the TV ugly ones (and I'll go into this in a second) still have decent bodies.  Sure, the faces may be kinda haggard, and some of the TV ugly women may look a little beat up (please see Nicolette Sheridan in Desperate Housewives), but really, they are still a step up from what you see regularly on the street, no regular guy is gonna kick them out of there bed.  Duh!  They are on television!!!!  As one of my favorite sayings go when I'm watching some shit reality show (Please see Wifeswap): "Ugh . . . I don't watch TV for ugly people.  I can leave my apartment in Queens for that"

So in response, I've decided to write out a trusty scale to measure regular women against what they would be on Television.  No show embodied my scale as well as Beverly Hills 90210.  I mean you ran the complete gamut from TV Ugly to TV Beautiful.  So here is the scale:

TV Sideshow: Pretty much a poor package all around.  I usually cringe when I see this on TV.  Either you're way too plain to jam my airwaves or you're way too hideous to walk regular streets. 

90210 example: Gabrielle Carteris

Regular World Equivalent Ranking: Plain or Plain Ugly

TV Ugly: Pretty basic.  You have a great body but an ugly haggard face, but as long as your daddy runs the show, well, hey, you'll always have the job. 

Best Example: Tori Spelling

Regular World Equivalent Ranking: Plain to Regular Mediocre (See?  Sort of like how hot you want your chicken wings!)

TV Mediocre: This one is a tougher one.  Can also be construed as TV Average, if you so choose. Kinda cute, but doesn't measure up against the real TV heavyweights.  Maybe small boobs, weird nose, odd eyes .  . . just something isn't right.  In the real world, you'd overlook all of these faults, and say to yourself: "Still better then 80% of what I usually see."

90210 Equivalent: Jennie Garth (I never saw it . . . the button nose . . . the pale skin . . . but still cute on the streets)

Regular World Equivalent Ranking: Regular Cute

TV Hot: In the regular world, this is the girl who would have all eyes on her at the bar, cause she's way too smoking for her own good.  She's been a baaaaaad girl . .  . you just want to span .  . . whoops.  I got visions of . . .

90210 Equivalent: . . . Shanen Doherty, who morphed into Tiffani Amber Thiessen

Regular World Equivalent: Smoking. 

TV Beautiful: Ah yes, the "It" girl.  Sure, she may not have the biggest chest or the finest ass, but she sure is purdier then everyone else.   To stray from the 90210 theme of the whole blog, but a perfect example is Mischa Barton from the OC.   She's not quite as hot as Rachel Bilson, but you'd be all for presenting her to your folks.  Rachel Bilson is a perfect example of the hot stripper girl your seeing for a good time and would show to your friends, while Mischa is someone you'd want to marry.  Dawwww . . . wawasworld can be sensitive too!

90210 Equivalent: Vanessa Marcil (Rule of Thumb: If you get a soap facial commercial, you're TV Beautiful . . .also note, Shannen Doherty never got one of those)

Real World Equivalent: They don't exist in this world

And to all my chick friends who are reading this, well, baby, you are all TV beautiful to me .  .  . (pfffffft . . . )

BTW-Why didn't I use my beloved IMDB links in this post?  Eh .   . .too much work, I guess

Comments

[Mimi]

Don't forget Goddess Supreme -- me, Mimi, from Drew Carey! Thanks, Wawasworld for making nobody truly ugly on TV!

[Horrified]

I can't believe you ranked Shannon Doherty above Jenny Garth!

[wawa]

Damn straight. Jennie (spell it right, dude) had a weird face. It's a fact. Not to mention, you were never sure when Shannen (again, spell it right!) was gonna explode in anger, making her even hotter. Who can forget the scene where she tells Dylan and Kelly that she never wants to speak to them again????? Um . . . HOTTTTTTT!

[Emily Valentine]

Wawa... hello ???
did you forget about me??
I was much crazier than Shannen and hotter than Jennie.

I burned down the freakin float for god's sake !!!

[Jennie Garth]

"television has 'clearly fogged' his vision"

So in addition to being a MORON, you're now an OXYMORON!!

[Dawson]

Wow...I don't know about that Shannen girl being hot Wawa. Wasn't one of her eyes trying to escape from the other? It was like 6" off center...kind of like Sloth from Goonies.

Anywho, I thought for sure you were going to pick women from the WB since they fall into every scale imaginable. Hot, cute, lazy, stupid, beefy, foxy, emaciated, and stumpy...I'm sure there's some paraplegic the WB has on one of it's fine programs. Tell it like it is Wawa!

-Dawson

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[Davoyrsa]

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