wawasworld

Behind the Scenes: Dodgeball

Wawasworld can hardly wait to see Dodgeball, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. I realize that it looks stupid, but with any Stiller movie recently, it looks dumb, but it usually makes you laugh (Please see Zoolander). However, one thing got Wawasworld a little confused: How does Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller's wife, keep getting acting jobs in his films in his dumb, but funny, films? Is it coincidence that the last 2 films that Christine Taylor have been Ben Stiller films? I kind of get a sinking feeling that Ben sometimes makes films just so he can stick his wife in there. Hmmm . . . Interesting. Wawasworld got a special peek into the secret lives of the Stillers and how Christine gets into only Ben's films:

Christine (staring at the phone): (sigh)

Ben: What's wrong?

Christine: I don't know. I'm just . . . ya know. . . in a rut

Ben: Bah . . . I know how that is. You should have seen me when they cancelled the Ben Stiller show. Man, I thought my imitation of Bono would rocket me to the top back then!

Christine: Well, I don't know. I just want to act. It's been a while.

Ben: Some people might say you were never really an actor

Christine: (Starts bawling) Oh Ben, you just don't know how it feels. I can't find a job!

Ben: Jesus, not this again. Didn't we just do Zoolander?

Christine: And then you did Along Came Polly, Duplex, Starsky and Hutch . . .

Ben: Did you see Duplex? I don't think I was doing much of anything . . .

Christine: (Still Bawling) You just wouldn't understand . . .

Ben: Alright, alright, what do you want. Just please stop crying . . . Christ

Christine: (sniff, sniff) Well, I saw that script for Dodgeball . . . there was a part in there for Gretchen Mol. . .

Ben: (sigh) I'll see what I can do . . .

Behind the Music: Fleetwood MacWawa

(Introduction to Behind the Music)

As 2004 rolls on, the reunited Fleetwood MacWawa has rejoined together for the highest grossing summer tour.

Lizzie Mac: Oh, this tour has been great. For the first time, me and Wawa can reconnect as friends and not have the drugs cloud our minds.

Wawa: She's still a pain in the ass, but I need the cash, so hey, why not? Kiss are still whoring there music for cash to this day. And in terms of the drugs? Yup . . . Still using 'em.

But what has brought back the Musical force back together after years of turmoil, bad press, and clear hatred?

Lizzie Mac: The Music

Wawa: The bitches . . . and the money

As this powerhouse duo roll onto greater triumphs on the road and in the studio, let's take a look back at there historic partnership through the music, the heartbreak, the drugs and the triumph. With exclusive interviews and footage never before seen, join us for this special 3 part series as we go Behind the Music of
. . . Fleetwood MacWawa . . .

How did Britney Really Hurt her Knee?

As you probably already know, Britney Spears recently had surgery for an injured knee that she got while shooting a video with Snoop Dogg. Her handlers have indicated that she hurt her knee dancing. Hmmmm . . . that's not what Wawasworld says. We got our hands on exclusive footage of the day the music died:

Snoop Dogg: Shiiiiiit, Britney, take it easy on that bong . . .

(Britney taking a huge bong hit . . . gurgle, gurgle, gurgle)

Britney: teheheheeheh . . . that's some really good shit you got there, Snoopy

Snoop Dogg: That's Snoop

Britney: Whatever. (starts petting Snoop on the dreads) You know, you're so cute. Like a little snoopy.

Snoop Dogg: Daaaag, bitch, you can't handle the chronic can you? Shiiiit . . . I haven't seen anybody fall apart like this since I smoked up with those Bush bitches a couple of months ago.

Britney: Dawwww . . . I'm ok. Me and Justin used to get our stuff from this guy in the city. He used to deliver. Some hydroponic stuff. But now, Madonna tells me the Kaballah doesn't approve of Hydroponics. We have to get our stuff from the earth. Like God intended. That Maddy . . . she's so smart!

Snoop Dogg: Bitch, you don't know shit. That Hydroponic shit is daaaaaaaamn good. You think we got grass and shit to grow from the ground back in South Central? Hellllll no . . . .we gotta get with technology, bitch!

Britney: Why do you keep calling me a bitch? (sniffles) That hurts my feelings.

Snoop Dogg: Girl you better fly away from this mofo, because he's tired of your whining and bitching, you know?

(Britney climbs on the couch)

Britney: I'm going to fly, fly away (starts flapping arms) . . . like a little bird . . .

(Loses Balance and falls)

Britney: Owwwwww . . . I hurt my knee, Snoopy!!!!

Snoop Dogg: Dag, girl . . . just what I need . . . another white bitch bringing me up in charges on assault . . . shiiiiiiiiit . . .

Sneak Peek: Mariah's New Kids Book

A Wawasworld exclusive first look: Mariah Carey's new kid's book "A Princess Tale" Usually when I get my hands on something this great so early, I like to keep it for myself. Instead, I've decided to share it with my loyal readers. Take a look:

(Enter smiling Mary Picture here)

Once there was a beautiful, buxom princess named Mary. Everyone in the world loved her so much. She could sing and was considered a very underrated actress.

(Next Page: Picture of Tommy Mottolla)

She was married to a rich king who took her in and took care of her . . .

(Next Page: Picture of Derek Jeter)

. . . but then she found a younger, better looking Prince to take her in

(Picture of beautiful Mary Kingdom)

Everything looked great for our beautiful Princess Mary . . ..

(Picture of Grey Clouds)

. . . But grey clouds were ahead

(Picture of Derek with a skanky waitress)

First, Prince Derek kicked Mary to the curb for a waitress at hogs and heffer

(Picture of Derek with another skanky waitress)

. . . and then another waitress

(Picture of Princess Mary smiling)

. . . But Princess Mary would be undettered . . .

(Picture of Mary in a movie)

. . . and starred in a beautiful movie called Glitter . .. .

(Picture of Roger Ebert)

. . . which was unfortunately panned and called a piece of crap

(Picture of Gene Shalit)

. . . although, some smart people loved it . . .

(Picture of Mary frowning)

. . . dawwww . .. . Poor Mary: Dumped by Prince Derek, starring in a crappy film, and singing in unlistenable soundtracks . . .

(Picture of Mary on TRL with Carson Daly)

. . . Causing our Princess to break down into a 1,000 pieces . . . But what's a girl to do to feel better?

(Picture of a glowing Mary in a circle with 5 other drunks)

. . . Why Rehab at the Betty Ford Clinic with 5 of her best friends!

(Mary waving goodbye to Rehab Center)

And Mary came out of rehab happy and smiling again . . .

(Big Picture of Mary)

. . . To live happily ever after. The End

Where in the world is Wawa San Diego?

Sorry I've been away for so long. First, I had writers block (or is that laziness?) and then Jefke moved us over to a new company that will get rid of the spam crap that was going on in the last Wawasworld. Here's what's gone on in the last couple of weeks:

1) I saw Mean Girls: Alright, I admit it. I loved it. It was great. And ya know what? Lindsay Lohan is smoking! She's 17, but she's looking like she's in her . . . um . . . .later teens. But that's ok. Springsteen wrote a song about looking and better not touching. Sigh. Oh Lohan . . . the forbidden fruit. I'm officially over my Duff crush.

2) PJ Harvey and Wilco: I got in to these 2 exclusive shows the last couple of weeks. Both were amazing. Wilco and Harvey have albums coming out (in the case of Harvey, it came out yesterday), and these were preview shows. I suggest you go out and get both.

3) J. Lo and Marc Anthony: Wow . . . I went 2 weeks without a word on this. Something must be wrong. Word has it she's knocked up. That's funny as hell. That poor child. It's going to have this huge forehead and big ass, and by the time he/she is born, J.Lo will be back in the loving arms of gambling fiend Affleck. Then again, nothing wrong with the gambling problem.

4) Reagan passes away: This is my Dad's favorite president of all time. Shocking, I tell ya. I mean, my dad looks back on those years with loving fondness. Dad, do you have a couple of words?

Papa Wawa: Wuh . . . Reagan . . . Golden time for this country. Mommy and I buy first Mercedes during his time as Presidency. Wuh . . . good time. I say "Mommy, look at tax statement. We get big tax cut because we have money!!!!" Give rich, and trickle down to poor. Wuh . . . funny how poor still poor, no? I still rich! wuhahahahahah . . . I miss you Ronnie. Miss one for the Gipper!

Thanks Dad. Ronnie, you'll truly be missed for your economic policies and hidden war mongering (The Sandinastas, selling arms to Al Queda etc . . . )

And that's about it. I'll probably be back to a more normal schedule.